Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops