A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Roses are red, yup.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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