Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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