Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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