An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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