I went to school. Then I came home.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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asdasdasdasd

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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