Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

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What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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Why'd The Little Kid Drop His Ice Cream Cone? Because He Witnessed His Mom get Raped in front of his house by the man driving the ice cream truck and the realized that he was licking frozen semen......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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