(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

Its behind you like if you looked behind

why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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