Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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