A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

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You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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black people

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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