What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

thumb_up thumb_down +7

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops