Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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