How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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Amanda Knox walks home free.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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