Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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