a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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wenis

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops