i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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Indians

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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1: I heard a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it. 2: Okay, knock knock! 1: Who's there? 2: ???

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops