One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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do u like chicken ? ....no good...cuz its for black people.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops