What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What do you call a black jew? Overcooked

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

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ejaculation JLR

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Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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