"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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