Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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Women's rights.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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drugs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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