Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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poopy is poopy

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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Pigachu is a Porkemon.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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