A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

A penis walks into a bar..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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