why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Robin, get in the car!

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the nintendo 3ds is being released this week. its the first 3d portable gaming device that doesnt require glasses, also known as a ball...

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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I am a mime

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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