What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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roses are red violets are hot dog this rhyme has no sense fork

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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