why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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