Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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What fires shots? A gun

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops