Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

What's 1+1? 69.

what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

how do you win a game try your best

What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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