How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops