how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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