Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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