Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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Knock knock knock OCD

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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