What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What is green and slow Grass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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