How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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