Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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A:why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side =D B:...i dont think you fully grasp the concept of an anti joke yet...smh -.-

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops