Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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hey hey apple

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops