what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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Robin, get in the car!

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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