What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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