You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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When life throws you lemons, you probably have dyslexia

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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