Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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