Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

thumb_up thumb_down +12

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Leave. Now.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I literally died laughing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops