Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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drugs.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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