A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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