Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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