why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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asdasdasdasd

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops