Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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The Labour Party.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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