what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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