Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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Penis chickens

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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what's worse than finding 8 dead babies in 1 trash can?....... 1 dead baby in 8 trash cans.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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