What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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a chinese man pays the full price

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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HEY!

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops