Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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