Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

A fat kid walks into a school. RUN KIDS IT'S BOMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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