Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cher. Cher who? Just Cher.

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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People...

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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