Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops