How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops