What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

thumb_up thumb_down +17

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So a man walks into a bar, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock, Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops